Rant

Social media sucks.

Because, you know, sometimes I have a shitty day, for no reason.

And because I’m sort of a hermit most of the time, I don’t really always have the chance to express myself to actual humans…that I choose to share my thoughts/feelings with.

So I want to go to the net and have my little “waaaaaahh” session and shit, which I really don’t do that often. Because I’m not crying all the time. That’s not my thing.

(I also don’t feel like I’m a narcissist - look at how seldom I post on Tumblr, for example. Or Facebook. I often go days or weeks without updates, for many reasons, mostly because I don’t typically feel that Every last thought or experience I have is that Earth-shattering that “I MUST SHARE.”)

But so many people are…so many ARE that self-absorbed. And I think it’s kind of sad and also kind of a joke that people go SO OFTEN to the well of “Look at Me” or whatever that they do when seeking attention/approval from humanity via social media. Posting on whatever site umpteen times a day about their lives in real time.

And all this is really just my long way of prefacing and disclaiming the fact that I feel like sharing that I’m having a shitty day. And I don’t want to feel guilty about going to the internet to share that. I don’t do this very often, and I’m going to allow myself to be okay with it.

This particular shitty day did not arrive with any good reason behind it. Maybe it’s a particular lack of sleep. Maybe I’m concentrating too much on the aspects of my life that are really dissatisfying. Maybe the chemicals in my brain are out of their usual balance. I don’t know.

But what I want you to know is that I don’t care so much about your response to all of my statements here. (Frankly, I’d be surprised if you read this far. Even more surprised if you continue on through the end.)

What I care about is the fact that I’ve finally been able to set down somewhere what’s going on in my brain RIGHT NOW, so I can let go of it.

Because I feel kind of like I’m going nuts a little bit. Like, I want to cry, but not really. I want to talk, but not really. I certainly don’t want to go out tonight…even though it’s Saturday night and there’s plenty I could be doing.

If I could even muster up enough courage to take the dog out for a walk right now, I’d be impressed with myself.

If you’d have told me (or anyone that knew me) at age 18 that I’d develop adult-onset social anxiety, you’d have been laughed at.

And you’d be having the last laugh right now.

Last week, a message written on this overpass in styrofoam cups read “Last Week.” Today, it reads “Your the Cats Meow.” I hope whoever is doing this keeps it up.

Last week, a message written on this overpass in styrofoam cups read “Last Week.” Today, it reads “Your the Cats Meow.” I hope whoever is doing this keeps it up.

My dog dreams audibly.

50 Shirts 50 Days, Day 102: G. Love & Special Sauce St. Andrew’s Hall Detroit, MI February 6, 2013

50 Shirts 50 Days, Day 102:
G. Love & Special Sauce
St. Andrew’s Hall
Detroit, MI
February 6, 2013

50 Shirts 50 Days, Day 101:Manchester Orchestra St. Andrew’s Hall Detroit, MI November 19, 2013

50 Shirts 50 Days, Day 101:
Manchester Orchestra
St. Andrew’s Hall
Detroit, MI
November 19, 2013

50 Shirts, 50 Days, Day 100: Wilco (Americanarama Festival) DTE Energy Music Theater Clarkston, MI July 14, 2013

50 Shirts, 50 Days, Day 100:
Wilco
(Americanarama Festival)
DTE Energy Music Theater
Clarkston, MI
July 14, 2013

To anyone out there who’s a single heart on Valentine’s Day.

To anyone out there who’s a single heart on Valentine’s Day.

I was going to write a really personal thing here, but the words wouldn’t come out right.

Tags: personal thing
Happy Birthday, Dave! (This pic is from when I met him backstage in Chicago in 2010.)

Happy Birthday, Dave! (This pic is from when I met him backstage in Chicago in 2010.)

BIBLE STUFFS!!

Okay, so… I don’t often talk about spiritual matters, mostly because it just doesn’t strike my fancy. However, if you know me well, you know that I haven’t shaken the entirety of my upbringing, especially the part that encourages a belief in a supreme deity.

That being the case, for some reason, I have felt exceptionally looked after and cared for by the supreme deity today.

Because of this, I feel encouraged to share something here that I wouldn’t normally…

My absolute favorite Bible verse of all time is Matthew Chapter 6. I cannot encourage anyone (never mind who/what you may or may not believe in) enough to take the short read.

Here, I’ll make it nice and easy:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206&version=NIV

I do enjoy the whole passage, but it’s the first five or six lines (and later ones that belie a very similar construction in style and principle to the first ones) that really stand out to me.

This chapter, more than anything, is why I do not often share my religious beliefs with anyone.

But after reading and rereading it, I realize, some of the things posed to the reader are things that I have been trying very ardently to incorporate into my own life, completely independent of this passage.

These ideas are important enough to me that I actually want to go out on a limb and share them - the source is really of no consequence to me.

I can’t judge anyone for their beliefs or disbeliefs, and it’s in that spirit that I hope y’all will take this rant.